heh it would amke more sense in 10 days. hahahaha

most of the times, i'll just let you ramble and not correct or speak or anything, im just passive like that .. but you are wrong allen.

there are things that i can talk to you about, and no one else. no i dont need yiming to be here for me not to talk to you. i'd talk to you all the time if i had the chance. haha i'll bother you every single moment. heh if there wans't such things at school. work, and sleep. bah you know, i still have sandra and emily to talk too, and i do talk to them all the time. its just not the same as talking to YOU. at all.

btw, what i refer to as my BORING summer is when i'm at home stuck with millions of chores, that is BORING, but actually i've manage to keep myself busy and not so bored. and no the boring part wasn't with you, dummy. hahaha but i do like staying home and just chilling, i haven't really done that, you know. i just wish there was more on tv to watch. hehe and not as many things to think about.

i do want to know how you feel but i might have already made other arrangements with the girls. i'll see what happens.

OMFG WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG. AHHH IT WONT PUBLISH. i've been reading it from the web address ... and i thought you didnt post?! ahhhh. maybe it will help if you press post and publish? ha.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW. i want to talk to you, but i dont know what to tell you? im trying to figure out what in the world i'm suppose to do besides from the fact that im not suppose to talk to you until i know what i'm doing. i know what i'm doing but the other conversation didn't make it clear to me at all.

i need help =(

ahhhhhhhhhh okay okay. you are my best friend in the whole world allen, going to be every night without talking to you crushes me badly. errr i cry myself to bed. hah .. yea thats me for you. my turn to lose appetite too .. but it wasn't bad as yours, i juist dont eat for like 24 hours? or close to it until im forced to eat. but i do know what i'm doing now. just if you go long too and dont compare things again? i dont know ... i wont bring that "other" stuff then ... no more talks about it? heh .. naive thinking huh? well i'm really sorry ... i want to talk to you, yea? like last night, that random thunderstorm i dont know. i was so excited i wanted to show my excitment of thunderstorm with the only person i know whod care to even listen, well i doubt you listened.. hah ... but then last week you also said .. things were going to fast ... but now you make it seem like its up to me to talk to you when im ready, i thought i was giving you space so you would be ready too?

yea im sure you can write a book on naiveness .. you can probably start a 1,000 page book about mine. HAHAA Jk.

wait did the guy buy the tree seeds? haha

i went to valley fair today. you know what i did when i got near timberland? kinda crept across the front of the store. i dont know why i did that. i was sure you weren't working ..

okay enough bothering mr. allen tran.

oh yea mr. smarty, it was mars close to earth NOT THE MOON. you silly person

oh yea my parents are actually listeing to others sucessful ppl. hahaha my mom's coworker adivsed that teens who start aroudn 18 and plays stock will be very successful in the future. so by that my dad is making me analyze stocks. and going to give me 1-2k worth of stocks so i can invest ... interesting huh? i feel sorta powerful.

i do

when are you leaving?

i guess there wont be any use for this anymore. i dont even know who im writing to. oh well. the reason its ending is because i lost my best friend. im considered an insensitive bitch who is still very immature.

but if you did care. thank you for all the happiness you bought into my life, i'm sorry i couldn't bring a speck of sunshine to yours, though i thought i did. i was just lying to myself. i was just hurting you more and more everyday. good bye.

i'm sorry it never got to 1 year. i'm sorry about everything.