you dont blog. thanks for the help with xmas allen.

its funny that i got your bday present before xmas >< I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU FOR XMAS! honest! i wish i had more money to make more a selection =(

LOL OMG YOU DORK HAHAHAHAHAH CUTE TITLE. kinda long. rofl

i think christmas is full of shit. i like love actually but i dont think its that special, i mean not special enough to get all googoo gaagaa over. you know? another commercialized holiday.

i saw melissa today! except she was too busy to really talk to me, but its okay i helped her out. shes suppose to come over later! im excited, we are going to go chill this break too! i left her a note between her pillow and her blankie, i hope she sees it

do u listen to dido? i like her work.

whiteflag?

But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of 'It's over'
Then I'm sure that that makes sense


anywho, hm are u doing that new gunbound contest, getting the little puzzle pieces? hehehe

Final Schedule
--------------
8:00 or 8:30 T Th Tues, Dec 9 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.
9:00 or 9:30 T Th Thur, Dec 11 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.
1:00 or 1:30 M W F Wed, Dec 10 1:30 - 3:30 p.m.
3:00 or 3:30 T Th Tues, Dec 9 4:00 - 6:00 p.m.

uh i think thats your final schedule i might have omit labs because i dont know if you have finals in labs, because that would be pretty darn crazy.

good luck on them allen.

i was mad because u were playing with manki on gb. heh stupid huh? just that 1) i dont like ppl playing other's ppl's account to get more money, though i did say u shoudl play with my account, but i kid. 2) shrug* shes getting better at a lower rank? pft i dont know. im jealous thats all. i will always be allen. ive been jealous of all those girls u met since day 1 at irvine, i dont care whether they had bfs or even were just friends. they got to see you more than i ever got to see you last year. that killed me, you know that? even when u said "oh i did that when i was drunk with balhbah" i dont care. that was just the bottom line, but hearing about you and shelby? my gawd allen that was it. thats why i didnt go back with u allen. the drinking was the problem the actions with others girl was also a prob, something i can't have any trust for again. u alreayd broke my heart once allen, then you did again with all those girls. i dont care what you think of me and your situation anymore because its all done. i already chose what i want, someone who never let me go, drink, drugs, or other actions with girls, you know why? because this guy really does care for me and just happens to have the same views on alcohol and drugs like me allen. it was great hearing about your rendevous with the drugs and alcohol, but deep inside i despised it so cold heartedly. something about that just didnt make me as attracted as i ever was. im glad you are over that and learned all your lessons, seems like you had all the fun for me: drinking and doing the drugs. lol

dont know allen, i told u to not wait and go on with ur life and when our paths reach again, we'll see what happens, okay? i still hope you are still my friend because the truth is allen, you still make me so happy whenever we talk or just play gb. i dont care what it is., i love spending time with you, though i might not have the same feelings about you now as you do towards me. i just hope somehow we make it through all this and our friendship will be strong. but you got to stop being so surprised when u hear "bf" from me because u act like i dont care, and well i dont want to lie to you allen when my bf is here. u know what i am saying? its hard to not LIE to you but also make my actions show that they care because its honestly hard. when i can't certain things without you being offended and when i'm busy out of my mind, trying to study for a final and say "i miss you too anh, my best friend" i'm sorry that you are still lingering here with me, i wish you could find someone and just flutter away. and be happy. im sure there are plenty of people you can be happy with, you just aren't opening your eyes and being too limited and too critical. im most definitely sure that there is someone much more well matched than me and definitely loves you then way i did once ... and surely change you for the better person i hope you will become soon.

and anh, i do miss you. because i love scaring you shitless =] and your great bear hugs, and your cute ghetto-ish tastes in clothes. and i care for you okay? i hope to see tiger someday though. and be one of those girls that can come over to your apt and sleep with you to stay the night. and maybe at that second you wouldn't be dreaming of me but of someone you will care so much for, okay? em thuong anh lam. xoxo

gawd i feel stupid now. i can't read your mind as well as i could before. lol =O

i find it interesting how we have a pattern. this is bound to happen but close to finals? ha~! sounds like what i use to do to you anh.

well i don't know why you cant' talk to me and not bring that up. makes no sense to me?

yeah i had a great thanksgiving weekend, and you thought you were going to have a sucky ass break. NOT WITH MY STINKY BUTT NEXT TO YOURS! MUAHAHAHHAA. my farts are priceless. hey i scared the shit out of you again! HA. when u were coming out of the bathroom.

linda: 2 allen: 0. SUCKA.

you owe me the pie dish anyways. i have to see your sorry tushie this break to get that pie dish back >I and of course to give you your christmas present, im not going to let something trivial like YOU not talking to me be in the way of the spirit of christmas. :)

well ... i wish it wont be this way for awhile but its your decision, i thought you said it was up to me? but apparently not and you said you weren't going to leave me - but this is a way of leaving me. ehh am i confusing you? i'm confusing myself. all i can think about is cyborgs and machines/humans (what im TRYING to journal about) get in the way of this.

damnit allen i needed you to help me with java too!! YOU BOOGER MONKEY. gah gah gah PERFECT TIMING YOU HAVE. jk it would have been nice if you could help me, i think i'll manage otherwise i can fail another lab without the help with mr. allen ryan tran. hm yah thats all ... ttyl =]

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

i just want you to know that i had a great weekend with you. every day seeing you was great. every minute we spent togheter was great. from the baking to the lookout point, to the studying. it was just wonderful. i really do wish that this weekend didnt have to be put into the past, that it could stay the present. but like u sed, u live ur life in the present. and presently, ur with yiming in santa cruz. and this thxgiving weekend, that was unfortunately just the past, and nothing beyond that. as much as i wish it had meant something, im gonna put it in behind me, and forget that it happened. but i just wanted to let u know that it was wonderful, and taht when im with u, i know i can not connect with anyone as closely as i do with u; sometimes i just feel like we're meant to be, but its obviosuly not.
posted by allen tran at 12:21 AM

HA, YOU CANT DELETE THIS NOW. BOOYAH